


playing pretend (didn't know it back then)

by hummingbirdheartbeat



Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: And Eliott is obvious, Bipolar Disorder, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Just some discussions about Eliott's BPD and Lucas' mother, Lucas is really oblivious, M/M, Mentions of Suicide Attempt, Sexual Tension, Smut, There's really almost no angst in this, Yann and Idriss are wingmen (sort of), this will have some pretty explicit sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:14:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22144705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hummingbirdheartbeat/pseuds/hummingbirdheartbeat
Summary: He turns to find Eliott staring at him with an unreadable expression on his face, and Lucas flushes, not used to being stared at by the older boy so intensely. He thinks about he used to be so good at reading Eliott, and wonders if Eliott had outgrown him too, like he had outgrown his old self. He almost voices this out.“It’s good to have to you back,” he says instead. Eliott’s expression softens, and smiles at Lucas so tenderly.“It’s good to be back.”OrChildhood best friends-to-lovers AU wherein Lucas and Eliott reunite and realize it's high time they fall in love.
Relationships: Eliott Demaury/Lucas Lallemant
Comments: 14
Kudos: 116





	playing pretend (didn't know it back then)

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo this is my first fanfiction in a really long time!! I've recently gotten really obsessed with SKAM and I had no outlet for all my ideas so here we are. This is sort of my piece to get back into writing again, so I apologize for any errors. Partly inspired by the 1st season 5 clip party scene (Eliott and Lucas were thirsty af)
> 
> Just some things I want to point out: 
> 
> -Idriss, Sofiane, and Eliott are two years older than the boy and girl squad, which means that by the time Eliott transfers back to their school to repeat his last year of high school, he and Lucas will essentially be in the same year.  
> -Lucas still lives with his parents in this setting. How he's friends with Manon and Mika will be further discussed in the story.  
> -Since Lucas and Eliott are childhood friends, it also follows that Yann is also friends with Eliott, and with Idriss.
> 
> **ALSO PLEAD READ THIS:**
> 
> Eliott's suicide attempt will not be discussed in detail but WILL be mentioned throughout the story, just a warning. 
> 
> Comments and constructive criticism will be much appreciated!
> 
> (Also, if you're a VLD fan, you will definitely recognize that line)

**Potential trigger warning** : Eliott's suicide attempt will be not be discussed in this chapter, but it will be mentioned that he tried to commit suicide.

Lucas could feel the beat thrumming through his veins as he danced with Arthur and Basile, the latter of the two looking like he was one drink away from being totally sloshed. The dancing was getting a bit much, with too many people crowded on the small dance floor (which really was just a sitting room with the furniture all cleared up). The night was still young and more and more people filtered in the house, and Lucas was starting to get a bit unsettled. 

“I think I need to take him away for a bit,” Arthur grimaces, supporting Basile who was looking greener every minute that passed. “Don’t wanna get puke on everyone else on the dance floor. Or on himself. He’d be a bitch to clean.” 

There was a reason he secretly dubbed Arthur as his kindest friend. He felt an arm sling around his shoulder, and turned to see Idriss who was observing the conversation with apprehension and amusement. “You can probably leave him in Sofiane’s bathroom until he sobers up a bit. The two guest rooms are occupied, and I think you’d rather deal with Basile’s puke than… other bodily fluids.”

Before Lucas could offer any help, Arthur hastily drags a groaning Basile in the direction of Sofiane’s bedroom, cursing as Basile starts to dry heave. Basile had always been a lightweight. “So Sofiane is surprisingly sober tonight,” Lucas points out to Idriss, who has a strange smile on his face. “I haven’t seen him touch a single beer. He is literally the reason we are having this party.”

“He’s trying to show Imane he can lay off the alcohol. Not that she cares about whether or not he drinks. There isn’t much he has to do to persuade her anyway. She’s so close to cracking. I can feel it,” Idriss laughs and takes a sip of his juice. They both look at the birthday boy and Imane having a quiet conversation on a couch, which was surprisingly vacant for the amount of people cramped inside Sofiane’s home. Imane rolls her eyes at something he says, but she looks strangely pleased and amused. Idriss looks on fondly.

“And you don’t care if your best friend dates your sister?”

Idriss scoffs as they walk away from the dancefloor to the patio out in the garden, where only a few people were hanging out, most of them out for a quiet smoke. Lucas shivers a bit from the cold, but nonetheless appreciates the change in environment. 

“My sister can take care of herself. Besides, I can’t think of anyone else I’d want Imane to date. Sofiane’s a good guy, and my other friends aren’t exactly the greatest.”

“Yann and I are offended!” Lucas exclaims as he pretends to be hurt. 

“You’re too gay and Yann likes Chloe too much to cheat on her.”

“That has nothing to do with us being bad friends!”

“Arthur likes Alexia, and I would never let Baz near her. My anonymous friend is in love with my other anonymous friend,” he continues with a strange expression, “ and the rest of my work friends are too old. Also, she’s too smart for you. All of you.”

“Watch what you say, Bakhellal,” Lucas warns, and Idriss laughs with his whole body, head thrown back and eyes scrunched up in mirth. Lucas expects him to fuck off back inside with Yann and start calling for some ridiculous activity with the other guests like body shots or who can down a beer the fastest then hop around on one foot—and where was Yann, anyway?—but Idriss stays and starts furiously typing on his phone, which was vibrating non-stop the moment he came to Lucas on the dance floor.  
'  
“So how’s studying for the bac going?” Idriss smiles at him innocently. Too innocently. It was a reasonable enough question, except that Idriss wasn’t exactly the type of person to be concerned about Lucas’ academics, or academics in general. Idriss’ left eye was also twitching, which was a nervous tick of his.

“Fine, just fine, but a little difficult at times,” Lucas narrows his eyes and answers carefully. “What’s your deal? And where is Yann? I haven’t seen him in over thirty minutes.” 

“Probably off somewhere with Chloe. So what are you having a hard time with?” His phone started vibrating again. 

Lucas frowns. “Chloe didn’t come tonight. Why are you acting weird? And who’s on the phone?” He huffs and motions to go back into the party. “I’m getting a bit cold, we should go back inside and—“

“Did you wanna smoke for a bit?”

“Neither of us smoke, Idriss,” Lucas deadpans. “Look, I’m just gonna go back inside to check on Yann then—"

“Yann’s not inside! Why don’t I grab us a couple of drinks and—“

“You’re acting really odd. Where is Yann and what is—“

“I keep forgetting how much of a nervous wreck you really are, Idriss. You’re really bad at this,” a voice says behind Lucas, and he freezes. _It can’t be._

Idriss smirks. “Lucas has always been difficult to distract. You know that, Eliott.”

“Lucas also won’t turn around. Aren’t you going to say hi?”

“Hi?” Lucas squeaks out. He can’t turn around. _He can’t._

“Well,” Yann speaks out, and Lucas jolts because he didn’t even notice the other boy come around, “that’s our cue to leave.” He looks pointedly at Lucas then drags Idriss by the arm into the party, shutting the sliding door of the patio behind them. Lucas stares after them, still unwilling to look behind him. 

“I didn’t know you found my face so repulsive, jeez. I can grow facial hair now, you know? Not that I have a beard, of course. But I do actually look good with a beard. Maybe I should grow one.”

“You’re still stupid. Clearly some things don’t change,” Lucas retorts, without any real malice in his tone. He fights back a smile. From his peripheral vision, he can see through the glass door Idriss, Yann, Sofiane, Imane, Manon, and Mika gawking at them from inside. Lucas can feel his throat closing up.

“Ha! That’s what you usually say when you find me funny but you’re too stubborn to admit it. Come on, Lucas, are we gonna do this all night? I didn’t come here to surprise you only to get ignored, you know?”

“I think I might cry,” Lucas admits weakly. 

“Hey,” Eliott says softly, “We’ve known each other since we were kids. I’ve seen you pee your pants and puke all over yourself. You don’t have to get embarrassed in front of me.” He chuckles. “Now I’m gonna turn you around so you can say hi and give me a hug, okay?”

Lucas lets out a choked noise and looks through the glass to find all of their friends gone, and he appreciates the privacy. He notices that they were the only two people left out on the patio. He feels Eliott turn him around, two hands on his shoulders, and it’s too much, too much all at once, and he shouldn’t be so emotional, he’s spoken to Eliott in the year and half that he was gone, but nothing could prepare him for when he’d finally see him again. He turns and—

“Hi, Lucas,” Eliott smiles down at him, and the damn just breaks. He sniffles and he’s sure people from the inside are staring at them right now, but he lunges at Eliott and they hug, and he’s pretty sure Eliott can feel his heart beating really quickly, but the older boy just laughs some more and pulls him tighter into his body ( _Eliott has been working out,_ his mind supplies unhelpfully, as he can feel his muscles rippling underneath his black dress shirt, and _since when did Eliott wear his shirts that low? The buttons were undone_ ).

“Well I missed you too, but I’d rather that you didn’t get your snot all over my neck and my shirt, it’s new and it’s expensive—”

Lucas just cries some more, and he’s sure he looks like a mess, but right now he doesn’t care. Eliott is back, back where Lucas can see him and hear him and finally touch him, and—

“Hey, hey,” Eliott cooes as he rubs Lucas back. “I don’t wanna trigger your asthma right when we meet again. You have to calm down, okay?”

“Okay,” he croaks. Eliott remains silent as he continues to rub Lucas’s back, and leads them to sit down on one of the benches on the patio. 

“So clearly you’re still an ugly crier,” Eliott teases, and Lucas rolls his eyes as he blows his nose into a handkerchief that Eliott fished out of nowhere. Eliott takes the cloth and wipes his tear-streaked face with it, and Lucas uses this time to observe him. Eliott clearly took care of himself. Eighteen-year-old Eliott was already classically handsome, tall with long limbs and a combination of facial features that blended together to make him look so striking, that people couldn’t help but take a second look when he walked by them. But there was still that boyish awkwardness to him, as if he’s not used to his own skin, hasn’t grown into his own lankiness.  


This Eliott however, was a _man_. Hair artfully tousled, when the Eliott a year and a half ago would just shower, dry his hair roughly with a towel and call it a day. Eliott grew some muscle, his jaw was more pronounced, and Lucas noted the presence of a 5-o’clock shadow. _Definitely not the gangly, bumbling teenager_. He look like he grew a few inches taller too, Lucas notes as he recalls their embrace from earlier. 

“I’d tell you to take a picture, but seeing as I’m now staying for good, there’s really no need. You can stare at me all you want in person.”

“You’ve changed,” Lucas replies, still staring at Eliott’s face as he pockets his handkerchief. _I missed you_ was what Lucas really wanted to say. _I never stopped_. “You’re… different.”

Eliott stares back and smiles. “Not too different, I hope?”

“No,” Lucas smiles back, “but you look good. Better. Like you’ve been taking care of yourself.”

“Yeah well,” Eliott gestures with his hands, as if to emphasize, “that was the whole point.” 

“And you are? Better, I mean? I know we never talked about it in detail, and I never wanted to push, but—” 

“I am, actually,” and Eliott left it at that. “Good enough to come back and stay for good, at least.” He sighs. “I told Idriss I wanted to surprise you today, actually, and I’m honestly surprised he kept it a secret for so long.” 

Lucas laughs. “That’s why he was acting so weird! He took me out here and started asking me about my bac, of all things, and he wouldn’t let me go inside for some reason, and his phone’s been buzzing non-stop, and that was you, wasn’t it?” Lucas accuses. “And Yann was missing! He probably came out to get you.”

At his outburst, Eliott let out his trademark high-pitched laugh. “I messaged Idriss last week that I was coming home and not to tell you because I wanted to surprise you, and he suggested that maybe Sofiane’s party was the best day to do it, so that I’d get to see everyone else too. You were probably wondering why I wasn’t replying to your texts.” 

Lucas just hums, and a comfortable silence settles over them. Lucas thinks back to that day several months ago and remembers it so clearly, he can almost relive it. He comes home from school to find his father waiting for him at their front steps, a grave expression on his face, and everything else that happens after his father relays to him the message was a blur. _Eliott’s mother called, Lucas, he’s in the hospital. He tried to kill himself._

He recalls getting into the car with his father, a heavy silence blanketing them as they drive to the hospital. The next thing he knows is they’re at the reception, asking for Eliott’s room number, and Lucas’ heart pounding in his chest. He remembers thinking why it had to be Eliott, why it had to be his mum who suffered through a mental illness, why it had to be the good, the pure. He sees Eliott’s mum sitting on those uncomfortable plastic chairs, looking worse for wear. He listens to her explanation. How he’s been diagnosed with depression, and Lucas knew about this, talked about it with Eliott at length, and he sort of zones out, and only hears the words _he’s bipolar_ , and _he’s asleep_ , and _he needs a change in medication_. He thinks about whether or not Idriss and Sofiane have been informed, and Lucas peers through the intensive care to see Eliott looking so frail, so pale, and wonders how he could have missed it. He never gets to see Eliott again, even after coming home from the hospital, as the older boy refused to take other guests. A week later his family moves away, and Lucas cries, wondering if he’s lost the boy he loved for good. 

Eliott, surprisingly, was the one who contacted Lucas first after a month of radio silence. It started anticlimactically with a meme. Small, short messages were exchanged between them, and this continued on for weeks, until Eliott was able to talk about himself. He assured Lucas that he was doing better, that he was taking his medication, and that when he was ready, he would come back and tell Lucas everything. And so he didn’t push. He wanted to hear Eliott, and speak to him, and be able to hug him again. Deep inside Lucas knew he was upset that Eliott didn’t want to see him or even call him, but he reminded himself that it wasn’t about him. If text messages were what Eliott was comfortable with, then Lucas would have to settle, and he would wait. 

It went on like this, for a year and a half. Daily messages were exchanged between them, mostly Lucas talking about his day and what he did with Yann, and eventually Basile and Arthur when he met the two, and updates on Sofiane and Imane. He told Eliott about coming out to his parents, and the older boy shared about his break up with Lucille, about how _it’s not working out, it hasn’t been working out for a long time now_. He would send his usual drawings, a raccoon doing mundane tasks, like washing the dishes, or doing homework. Occasionally Eliott would send him sweet drawings of a raccoon and a hedgehog doing those mundane tasks together. Those drawings would usually have a small message scribbled underneath, saying _At the same time, in another universe_. Those days, Lucas would ache for Eliott more than usual.

He turns to find Eliott staring at him with an unreadable expression on his face, and Lucas flushes, not used to being stared at by the older boy so intensely. He thinks about he used to be so good at reading Eliott, and wonders if Eliott had outgrown him too, like he had outgrown his old self. He almost voices this out. 

“It’s good to have to you back,” He says instead. Eliott’s expression softens, and smiles at Lucas so tenderly. 

“It’s good to be back.” 

The two of them eventually go back into the party, which is still in full swing, and Eliott happily reunites with the rest of their friends. He goes around hugging people and meets Arthur, who he immediately befriends and converses with like they’ve known each other for years (Basile is unfortunately passed out in Sofiane’s bed). Mika hugs and tries to very obviously flirt with him after introducing himself, and Eliott just laughs it off and says he appreciates it, but that he was very much spoken for.

“But you said you were single?” 

“I am, but hopefully not for long. I’ve had my eye on someone for a while, and now I feel like everything’s just aligned for me. The timing couldn’t be more perfect,” Eliott says this very seriously, all the while keeping his arm firmly around Lucas’ waist, and really, you can’t blame him for wanting to swoon on the spot. He avoids Yann and Idriss’ pointed stares. 

“Man Eliott, you really had to steal my thunder and show up like this on my birthday, huh?” Sofiane teases him once they’ve all settled down and managed to squeeze in a couple of couches in one of the rooms in Sofiane’s house. Daphne, who has just met Eliott, was more giggly than usual and laughed at everything the older boy had to say even if they weren’t remotely funny. If she wasn’t dating Basile, he would feel a little bit threatened (not that he was assuming he had a chance. Not when Eliott looked like that, and managed to draw the attention of most of the people whenever he entered a room). 

They spend the night at each other’s side, moving around and talking to several acquaintances, and they both remain sober. “I completely cut out alcohol and smoking, fucks up my meds,” Eliott explains when Lucas offers to get them beers. “I quit while doing my therapy. Then everything else just started to follow. I went to the gym regularly because my therapist suggested that having a routine to follow daily might help manage my triggers and episodes, and I started eating healthy too. It took several months, then one day I woke up and realized that taking care of myself became sort of a habit. I started sleeping longer hours and more regularly.” 

Lucas smiles. “I wish I had something better to say than ‘I’m proud of you’ or ‘I’m happy for you,’ but I do mean them.” He winces. “I know that sounds kinda lame and I feel like I should say something more—”

“You’ve always understood me best, Lucas,” Eliott replies, taking a sip of his juice that Idriss had kindly offered. “That hasn’t changed.”

Lucas smiles and feels warmth spread through him, happy to spend the rest of the evening being led around by Eliott and being attached to his side. That was another thing that he noticed, and that was Eliott quite literally could not keep his hands off Lucas throughout the party. And sure, Eliott had always been a tactile person, especially to his friends. Lucas grew up with the older boy and had been used to have arms around his shoulders, used to play wrestling, holding hands on the swing, and sharing a bed when they were old enough to have to sleepovers. 

Lucas doesn’t want to get his hopes up, but how could he not when Eliott keeps touching him like it’s physically painful to be away from Lucas? He constantly keeps an arm around his waist or a hand on the small of his back even while talking to other people, and keeps his hands on Lucas’ hips and walks closely behind him as they move around the packed house (and he tries not to gasp at the feeling of Eliott’s breath against his nape or his muscled stomach against his back). Lucas was sure he was going to faint when Eliott wrapped an arm around the small of back and pulled him close to him to make way for a couple of girls who were running into the kitchen to puke. He could smell Eliott’s cologne and feel his breath against his nose, and he was so close, it was so tempting to tilt his head up and just press their lips together. He kept his eyes down instead, and wasn’t sure if the rapid pounding he felt between their bodies was his or Eliott’s heartbeat. 

(Deep inside, he wonders if he’s that _someone_ Eliott was talking about to Mika.)

Eventually the exhaustion of having cried his eyes out and navigating through crowds of people caught up with Lucas, and he tells this to Eliott, who offers to walk him home. “I’m not into parties lately, anyway,” Eliott shrugs, when Lucas tells him that he can stay if he wants. “I’d prefer to be in bed by 11 pm and get some sleep.” 

They say their goodbyes to their friends, who all each hug Eliott goodbye. Idriss and Sofiane drag Eliott farther away and they start furiously whispering to one another, the former two looking like they were questioning Eliott about something. Lucas jolts when a hand lands on his shoulder and turns to see Yann looking smugly at him, as if he knew something Lucas didn’t. Lucas narrows his eyes. 

“You. You disappeared and I was looking for you and Idriss starts acting weird then Eliott shows up out of nowhere! You knew about this. Why didn’t you tell me about it?” Lucas whines.

“Why would I tell you? Eliott asked us to keep it a secret.” 

“I could have at least prepared, or something!” 

“Prepare for what? I’m pretty sure you would have still cried like a baby when you saw him tonight even if you knew beforehand. And don’t act like you’re not happy about how this turned out. Both of you spent the night glued to each other, and everyone here definitely saw how Eliott was staking a claim on you like some animal in a rut with how he was wrapped you around the whole night. It’s pretty impressive actually, he—”

“Hey, you ready to go?” Eliott smiles at him and Yann, and Lucas flushes and tugs Eliott’s arm in the direction of the door. 

“Yeah, let’s go, I’m really tired,” he replies hastily, and Yann just laughs and waves them off. 

“Have a safe walk home, you guys.” 

They spend almost the entire walk in silence, and Lucas startles when Eliott’s hand brushes against his. They don’t walk hand in hand, but they’re so close together that their hands brush against one another constantly. They reach Lucas’ house, and Lucas realizes something.

“You said you were moving back here permanently? But you guys didn’t move back next door?” Lucas asks, confused. 

“I got my own place,” Eliott replies, hands shoved inside his pockets and kicking around the dead leaves on Lucas’ porch. “I told myself that once I ready, I’d move back here. It took a while to convince mum and dad, but they let me eventually on the condition that they’d visit me once a week and that I’d do Sunday lunches with them.” Eliott was staring at him again intensely and Lucas didn’t know what to do about it.

“Well,” Lucas clears his throat, “I’d better get inside. So… I’ll see you this week? If you don’t have any plans?” He asks, unsure. 

“School doesn’t start for a couple of weeks and I definitely don’t have any other plans. I was actually planning on inviting you over? Just like before, we can play some Mario Kart and order some take out. Just you and me?” 

Lucas tries not to think about how that sounded like a date. “Your healthy ass still eats some fast food?” He teases, and Eliott releases one of his full-bodied laughs. 

“I make exceptions,” Eliott winks. He comes closer and pulls Lucas in an embrace. “I missed you, Lucas,” he mumbles into the crook of the younger boy’s neck. He takes a deep breathe in and pulls away far enough to plant a soft kiss on Lucas’ cheek. “I’ll see you later.” 

Eliott waits for Lucas to safely get inside his house and close the door before he starts walking away. And if Lucas’ heart beats quickly at the sight of Eliott glancing back at the house as he walks away (yes, he was peeking through the window, sue him), no one has to know but him.


End file.
